Parents take care of their children until they become adults. Their task is not only to feed and dress the baby, but also to help their children to overcome confusing emotions and experiences. They should know how to handle difficulties, not be acussing, understand and help their kids while facing problems.
But, unfortunately, this exact task is ignored and considered unnecessary by numerous parents resulting in their inability to do the job right. It’s important to realize what we are doing with our children as we burden them with our problems.
Indeed, some may have heard replies originating from nervousness such as:
- Why are you crying? It’s not a big problem!
- How long are you going to hide behind your mothers back?
- The real men never cry!
- Why are you comfort him/her? She/he is manipulating you!
- Stop crying, you are an adult after all!
- What did I tell you?
- Find a different place for whining!
This is not right. Instead of adding their emotional luggage to her child’s burden parents have to be interested in helping their children to deal with emotions.
For them the crucial thing is understanding, not disapproval. Otherwise one day the overflowing emotional luggage kept inside may eventually burst out in ways that parents maybe cannot even imagine.
Emotions is what the human person is made of and without them you won’t be feeling whole. We won’t have passion, won’t fall in love.
But we don’t need to hold everything locked deep inside just because someone told us to not whine. That’s how people get complexed and face huge problems in human relationships. We need to know how to let al emotions out without losing control.
Children mostly don’t even know how to manipulate their emotions in right way, so in order to educate them we need to show our understanding and readiness to support if needed.
The child must be certain that he is free to express his feelings and thoughts in the first place. He mustn’t be pushed at and have limited freedom. It’s necessary for the kid to be able to release his weight of emotions, and it will make everything only better.
It is worth mentioning that to be able to emotionally support their children parents must themselves be able to manage with their problems.
There are parents who are by themselves overloaded with emotions and maybe they as well don’t know how to support their children because they didn’t get that kind of help from their parents in their childhood.
There’s literally only one way in such cases: they need to reorganize themselves to be able to look at life with their children’s eyes.
That gets significantly difficult if parents don’t have that kind of experience, but the child grows up either not complexed or too afraid to even talk with people as he didn’t see anything in his childhood besides pressure.
So what in conclusion? Stay calm and collected, no need to create a chain of disaster. Our children deserve the best we can give to them.